Post-Rangarok

Session 56

Leaf’s Log 1 Ein-Manuthr (20th day of 2nd Wizardry)

We got asked to wake up some gods. Apparently this involves dragging their bodies into the woods during a blizzard while being attacked by unseelie fey and saving the scouts that went out before us. Also, that fey hound was really scary.

Successes:
Hit a guy with a spell.
Hit a guy with an arrow.
Made an inspiring speech.

Failures:
Shot an arrow at a guy, hit rock. Three times.
Tried to stab a guy, hit the ground. Four times.
Almost died.
Got terrified by a dog.

My success to failure ratio has gone to 0.33. This is clearly an improvement over the 0 from the spirit world but I am starting to think that I am not a very good wizard. Perhaps I should try divine magic. The question is which god would trust me with magic.

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Session 54 (as told by Eyvindr)

Sung to the tune of!

There’s a raven alone who says the gods are stone
And we’re riding a bone sled of awesome.
When we get there he knows, we’ll take them through the snows
With a quest we can get gods back home soon.
Ooh, ooh, and we’re riding a bone sled of awesome.

Down below, ogremen come to kill us again,
Some can fly, some can shoot and some melee.
And a ways down the course, there’s a witch on a horse,
And the bird thinks we should take the long way.
Ooh, should go the back way,
Ooh, should go the back way.

There’s a feeling I feel when I look down the hill,
And I send a few rocks just to test them.
In my ears I can hear sounds of anger and fear,
And the voices of those who would hurt us.
Ooh, screw the back way,
Ooh, we’re going down the fast way.

With a boulder in front, it absorbs all the brunt,
Of the forces amassed in our pathway.
As it picks up the snow, it continues to grow
And we know soon we’ll have to avoid it.

There’s guys approaching up in the sky, and they can all fly,
And with a glare they shoot arrows.
But soon they come down into melee, and then they’re our prey,
Their boots explode or burst or something.
And I miss the back way.

The ladies sail in like a menace, and we play tennis,
Finnola wins with a hair flip,
Eyvindr hugs the one in charge now, we still don’t know how,
And Leaf was there to make us look good.

And as we sled on down the hill,
An avalanche begins to spill.
It gets the women in the ice,
But Litli gives that snow a slice
With some weird thing we’ve never seen,
Which gives us all a plan that’s keen.
We sail on up the rift he made,
We ride the wave and shout the score:
An army felled by just us four.

And we’re riding a bone sled of awesome.

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Session 53

Leaf’s Log 15 Goi (5th day of 2nd Wizardry)

Rangering didn’t work out very well, so I am trying Wizarding again. A shadow rat god offered us a bonehemoth in exchange for waking up a few awesome gods. We accepted and got transferred to the spirit world. I nearly got eaten by a big dog and Litli went to investigate (kill) some voices. We found the awesome gods but there were a bunch of unseelie there as well.

Successes:
None.

Failures:
My spirit animal is a duck billed platypus.
Failed to spot ambush. Nearly got eaten.
Cast a spell, hit a rock. Three times. In three rounds.
Fired and arrow, hit a tree.
Tried to hit a helpless unconscious enemy, missed.

Zero successes and seven failures. I have fallen below even the bards in competence. Clearly the spirit world is not for me. I need to find a way back the normal world before I somehow manage of go negative.

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Session 51 (as told by Eyvindr)

Sung to the tune of!

Is this a letter?
Is it addressed to me?
I can’t read or write,
So I’ll go call the other three.
Open it up,
It’s from that short guy, I see,
I’m just a strong guy, I need no lit’racy,
Because I’m stabbing guys, bashing heads,
Finding foods, pulling sleds,
Since this thing can’t be read, I’ll give it to that guy, Litli,
Litli

Dwarf guy,
Just got a quest,
Get a cask down from the shelf, I can lift it by myself
Dwarf guy…we had just begun,
But now we find that magic’s flowing ‘round
Dwarf guy, oooh,
Gotta search in tunnels dark,
If we’re not back again this time tomorrow,
Run away, run away and then get Finnola here

Too dark, we’re underground,
Drag cart through tunnels deep, find a blacksmith who’s asleep
Hello, all the earth guys, you’ve got to go,
Got to kill you all and stop the magic leak
Dwarf guy, oooh,
I don’t want to die,
I think when we can’t flank, we’re gonna fall

(Guitar solo)

I stab a little silhouetto of a worm,
Finnola! Finnola! we’ve replaced you with cold brew!
Rocky men and charred things, fighting the guys guarding me!
It’s a thoqqua, It’s a thoqqua
It’s a thoqqua, It’s a thoqqua
It’s a thoqqua, then a snake
And tiny troll!

I’m just a swordwraith, nobody fights me
He’s just a swordwraith with his soul absentee,
Kill him to death and get some bones for free!
Deadly worms burning dwarves, will you light the bomb?
Explosion! No, we will not light the bomb
(Light the bomb!) Explosion! We will not light the bomb
(Light the bomb!) Explosion! We will not light the bomb
(Light my bomb) Will not light the bomb
(Light my bomb)(Never) Never light the bomb
(Light my bomb) Never light the bomb (Light my bomb) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh dwarven blacksmith, dwarven blacksmith, dwarven blacksmith, light the bomb
Bonarium has a ton of stuff we’ll take for free, for free,
for freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So you think you can web me and poison my gnome?!?!
So you think you can bite me and then run on home?!?!
Oh, baby, got no bones to steal, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!

(Guitar solo)

No one really missed us, didn’t care at all,
No one really missed us,
No one missed us at Meiðarhöll…

Any way the booze flows…

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Session 50

Leaf’s Log 24 Thorri (36th day of Rangering)

We scouted three locations for possible settlement. One was full of gates and horses, another was full of murder vines, and the last was full dogs. The dogs attacked us and thus are no longer filling the location. It was chosen for settlement.

Failures:
Tried to follow a magic sense, Went the opposite direction.
Tried to move silently, forgot to stop humming my theme song.
Fight started, failed to notice until after everyone else had begun.
Cast a spell at a horse, hit a tree in the other direction.
Tried to forage for food. Mistook deathberries for blueberries.
A vine tried to kill Litli, I slept through the first half of the fight.
Cast a spell at a dog, hit a rock.
Tried to stab a dog, hit the ground, three times.

Successes:
Actually managed to hit a horse with a spear.
Managed to dodge attacking murder vines while asleep.
Actually hit attacking murder vines with a spear.
Actually hit a dog with a spear.

My success to failure ratio has increased to 0.40. This is better than the 0.375 that I had as wizard and the 0.174 that I had as a bard. However I still fail to comprehend how the others manage to get above 1.0. Maybe I should try wizard again. Determining which berries are poisonous and which direction to go are surprisingly difficult. Casting spells was easier even if I couldn’t hit anything with them.

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Session 49

(By Finnola)

It would appear that the rest of the group declined to relate the events which happened this week; once again, it is up to me to pick up the slack and make sure we adhere to a higher standard, one befitting myself, the chosen of Balder.

What happened then? The same thing which happens every time we sally forth… I lead thoughtfully. I build bridges between the peoples of this noble land, forming new bonds of peace and understanding. I bring forth beauty and grace!


More importantly, I decided during the time of our journeys that it is time for me to find a young man to help me pass on my gifts to a new generation. It is clear, due to my many, many victories on the battlefield, that the blood of my great grandfather runs true in me. I believe, like in the stories of old, that it will only get stronger in each subsequent generation.

I will require a handsome, remarkable fellow. A protector and provider who is good in the sack. Yes. This is my quest now.




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