Sung to the tune of!
Is this a letter?
Is it addressed to me?
I can’t read or write,
So I’ll go call the other three.
Open it up,
It’s from that short guy, I see,
I’m just a strong guy, I need no lit’racy,
Because I’m stabbing guys, bashing heads,
Finding foods, pulling sleds,
Since this thing can’t be read, I’ll give it to that guy, Litli,
Litli
Dwarf guy,
Just got a quest,
Get a cask down from the shelf, I can lift it by myself
Dwarf guy…we had just begun,
But now we find that magic’s flowing ‘round
Dwarf guy, oooh,
Gotta search in tunnels dark,
If we’re not back again this time tomorrow,
Run away, run away and then get Finnola here
Too dark, we’re underground,
Drag cart through tunnels deep, find a blacksmith who’s asleep
Hello, all the earth guys, you’ve got to go,
Got to kill you all and stop the magic leak
Dwarf guy, oooh,
I don’t want to die,
I think when we can’t flank, we’re gonna fall
(Guitar solo)
I stab a little silhouetto of a worm,
Finnola! Finnola! we’ve replaced you with cold brew!
Rocky men and charred things, fighting the guys guarding me!
It’s a thoqqua, It’s a thoqqua
It’s a thoqqua, It’s a thoqqua
It’s a thoqqua, then a snake
And tiny troll!
I’m just a swordwraith, nobody fights me
He’s just a swordwraith with his soul absentee,
Kill him to death and get some bones for free!
Deadly worms burning dwarves, will you light the bomb?
Explosion! No, we will not light the bomb
(Light the bomb!) Explosion! We will not light the bomb
(Light the bomb!) Explosion! We will not light the bomb
(Light my bomb) Will not light the bomb
(Light my bomb)(Never) Never light the bomb
(Light my bomb) Never light the bomb (Light my bomb) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh dwarven blacksmith, dwarven blacksmith, dwarven blacksmith, light the bomb
Bonarium has a ton of stuff we’ll take for free, for free,
for freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
So you think you can web me and poison my gnome?!?!
So you think you can bite me and then run on home?!?!
Oh, baby, got no bones to steal, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!
(Guitar solo)
No one really missed us, didn’t care at all,
No one really missed us,
No one missed us at Meiðarhöll…
Any way the booze flows…